Great Aunt Vera's Funeral
My great aunt Vera passed away on the 2nd of April (easily upstaging the pope) after protracted illness. The funeral was on Wednesday just passed, the 13th, and was a beautiful response to someone who must have been a beautiful person.
Unfortunately I didn't really get to know Vera too well, having only met a handful of times, but I wanted to attend her funeral for a number of reasons : I had spent 2 months staying with Keith and Anne and had made good friends with them, Keith is Vera's first son; because of various reasons I couldn't attend either Nan or Martin's funeral, which was dissapointing for me as Martin was probably my favorite, and best know, great aunt/uncle; I have never been to a traditional funeral and was intrigued, the only other funeral I'd been to was for an Aboriginal girl I new.
So I got a lift up with William, and bought a boquet of flowers on the way up; I followed Jan's advice and asked for 'garden flowers' as Vera loved to garden, and got a boquet a little larger than the minimum. The message I wrote on the card was something like (though better written) this
We milled around a bit, making hasty jokes, covering our emotions, as we waited for 1:45 and the funeral herse. We piled into the various vehicles (though this was a little confused as Joan and Wilfe ended up coming in William's black mercedes with me, and Jan got to drive all on her own)
We walked in as the funeral procession; this was a little strange as I felt a little intrusive to be included in this 'elite' when there were many people in the church who knew Vera, and the family, far better than I. It did, however, give me the chance to connect deeply with the Riders.
The service was simple, three hymns that we sang (me badly - I don't know them!) a few prayers and a wonderful, if austere and overly chronological, speech by the priest (who knew Vera personally). While this was all a little christian for me (d'oh!) there were some wonderful bits about life/rebirth and death, transience and imortality, our insignificance and ultimate importance.
The most important part for me, though, was simply observing and being involved with a fantastic family of deeply caring people. I didn't so much feel a huge sense of loss, though that was of course there, but a much greater sense of pure and simple love. I said to Jan afterwards that if 'God is Love' then God was in the house that day.
(Yes I am nearly crying again at the beauty of the occasion as I write these words)
We then proceeded to the crematorium and had a very simple and short final ceremony and then the official stuff was over. We went outside and stood around a bit, again making light conversation. This was when I realised the honour I received having my flowers decorating the house; other peoples were used to decorate Vera's rememberance plaque thing, which in itself is important, but I was delighted that mine had a connection with the living, because it is in the love and memories of the living where Vera will live on.
We returned to the house for the usual massive Rider party - they know so many people, and make so much food, that it is always a great event.
Eventually the guests left and we all relaxed a bit, and organised ourselves for a bit of dinner (after doing the washing up and so on) before Will and I rushed home (thanks again Will for dropping me off directly instead of 1 hour away by train - much appreciated).
Unfortunately I didn't really get to know Vera too well, having only met a handful of times, but I wanted to attend her funeral for a number of reasons : I had spent 2 months staying with Keith and Anne and had made good friends with them, Keith is Vera's first son; because of various reasons I couldn't attend either Nan or Martin's funeral, which was dissapointing for me as Martin was probably my favorite, and best know, great aunt/uncle; I have never been to a traditional funeral and was intrigued, the only other funeral I'd been to was for an Aboriginal girl I new.
So I got a lift up with William, and bought a boquet of flowers on the way up; I followed Jan's advice and asked for 'garden flowers' as Vera loved to garden, and got a boquet a little larger than the minimum. The message I wrote on the card was something like (though better written) this
While I had little chance to meet Great Auntie Vera, the little time I had with her, and the time I spent with her generous and wonderful children and grandchildren, convince me that she was great indeed.From myself, on behalf of the Viles. The flowers were so well received (unbeknowest to me we weren't actually supposed to bring any) that they were used to decorate the mantlepiece in the living room.
We milled around a bit, making hasty jokes, covering our emotions, as we waited for 1:45 and the funeral herse. We piled into the various vehicles (though this was a little confused as Joan and Wilfe ended up coming in William's black mercedes with me, and Jan got to drive all on her own)
We walked in as the funeral procession; this was a little strange as I felt a little intrusive to be included in this 'elite' when there were many people in the church who knew Vera, and the family, far better than I. It did, however, give me the chance to connect deeply with the Riders.
The service was simple, three hymns that we sang (me badly - I don't know them!) a few prayers and a wonderful, if austere and overly chronological, speech by the priest (who knew Vera personally). While this was all a little christian for me (d'oh!) there were some wonderful bits about life/rebirth and death, transience and imortality, our insignificance and ultimate importance.
The most important part for me, though, was simply observing and being involved with a fantastic family of deeply caring people. I didn't so much feel a huge sense of loss, though that was of course there, but a much greater sense of pure and simple love. I said to Jan afterwards that if 'God is Love' then God was in the house that day.
(Yes I am nearly crying again at the beauty of the occasion as I write these words)
We then proceeded to the crematorium and had a very simple and short final ceremony and then the official stuff was over. We went outside and stood around a bit, again making light conversation. This was when I realised the honour I received having my flowers decorating the house; other peoples were used to decorate Vera's rememberance plaque thing, which in itself is important, but I was delighted that mine had a connection with the living, because it is in the love and memories of the living where Vera will live on.
We returned to the house for the usual massive Rider party - they know so many people, and make so much food, that it is always a great event.
Eventually the guests left and we all relaxed a bit, and organised ourselves for a bit of dinner (after doing the washing up and so on) before Will and I rushed home (thanks again Will for dropping me off directly instead of 1 hour away by train - much appreciated).
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